Chapter 120 - Conflicting Emotions Part 2
* Primal - (NEFFEX) *
Cutting her maniacal laughter short, Raven widened her eyes in surprise. She hadn\'t expected that killing only one monster is enough for her urges to control her again.
\'What the f*CK am I doing?\' Raven yelled in her mind. \'I can not let myself be manipulated by stupid emotions or urges!\'
Forcing her body to move, she gritted her teeth while punching the ground with her bare hands.
She purposefully didn\'t coat or reinforce her fist with mana as she had hoped to use the pain to her advantage and maybe get rid of her strong urge to kill more.
But unfortunately for her, she felt no pain at all. Instead of her fist getting harmed, it was the ground that got cracked under the pressure.
Feeling her consciousness drift into darkness, Raven was afraid of what her bloodthirsty self would do.
\'Tu, help!\' she pleaded in her mind. Kayla was still undergoing her evolution and Tu was the only person who could help her at this point. \'I don\'t want to be a sadistic maniac who only kills for joy…\'
Even though she had asked for help, Tu didn\'t seem to hear her.
\'Oh, so it\'s one of these episodes…\' Raven thought to herself as despair was clutching her soul, slowly but surely. \'It is just like when Kay wasn\'t able to hear me… is Tu being stranded somewhere too?\' she thought to herself.
While she was fighting against the corruption trying to take over, her body was releasing massive amounts of mana that cracked the ground all around her and threatened to permanently damage the forest.
The boy\'s body that was unconscious on the ground seemed to be shaking violently as well. \'I need to go somewhere safe… I can\'t harm innocent people!\'
\'I can\'t let that happen…\' she thought to herself while clenching her fists. \'I want nothing more than blood and adrenaline right now, but I can\'t let that happen. Just like Tu said, it is an addiction! It\'ll only get worse…\'
Thinking about what would happen if she started killing the people in the city, her heart sank. Her friends were there too.
\'Yes, I want souls. But I can\'t let that happen. Yes, I want to kill, but I can\'t let that happen…\' Raven was muttering to herself trying to control her emotions.
All the while, most of the monsters that were spread throughout the forest seemed to be afraid of her aura and started running away.
While most of them ran deeper into the woods, some escaped towards the city.
\'Please… focus… I can\'t lose it!\' Right now, Raven\'s emotions were running amok. She wanted joy, excitement, and death. But a part of her also wanted rage.
\'I won\'t play by the rules…\' she whispered to herself. \'I won\'t succumb to these stupid urges for killing and wreaking havoc…\'
*Deep breaths*
\'If my urges want me to be a hot headed psychopath and destroy anything and everything in my path, then I\'ll choose to be a cold-blooded but calculated assassin.\'
*Deep breaths*
Trying to steady her breathing and focus on her thoughts, Raven knew she had to choose one or the other.
Both included killing. But she felt like whichever emotion she focused on would change her behaviour accordingly.
\'Tu,\' she muttered, \'if you can hear me, please give me a hand.\' As she muttered the last word, her figure started to flicker black and gold.
The gold seemed to try hard to stay in control, but the black energy seemed to be far stronger.
In a matter of seconds, Raven\'s figure seemed to be stealing the light from every corner of the forest as the area around her turned into blinding darkness.
The gold light was almost gone when suddenly, a tiny crimson sliver of light started penetrating through the darkness.
Almost as if she was internally crying, warm tears escaped Raven\'s closed eyes as her face got serious.
"You\'re right, Tu… I will choose neither." She said out loud, with her eyes still closed. "I can\'t risk becoming a sadistic psychopath… I can\'t risk harming my friends… and most importantly, I can\'t in any space, time, or reality, hurt my two saviours: Maya and Maria.
"The two girls that gave me my sanity back. The ones who cared for me and loved me unconditionally... There\'s no way in hell I\'d risk their well-being!"
With the last word, her eyes snapped open as golden radiance spread across the forest, shedding light on its every corner.
Even though she was still clad in the same dark armour, majestic gold and warm crimson hues seemed to mix together and form some mysterious runes along its edges.
The captivating radiance solidified in front of her face, creating a sparkling and soothing mask that covered her eyes and only extended to cover her tiny nose.
The mask looked like the face piece of a small dragon\'s skull. Two short, yet shiny, fangs ran from the bottom of the mask and down towards her cheeks.
Two horns of the similar mysterious, yet majestic, colour extended from the top of the mask and outwards.
In a way, the mask made her look cute rather than intimidating.
Instead of being malevolent dark, her aura turned golden as before, with hints of crimson that danced around her.
*Sigh*
\'I am glad to know you\'re back to normal, even if just for now,\' Tu said with a tired sigh, \'I thought I lost you there with how violent your aura was.\' He said with a sincere smile.
He had exerted a lot of his own energy in order to send her one quick message.
Through the darkness, his voice was the only one to guide her. He only spoke simple facts and asked one short question: \'Raven, with you craving souls and giving in to your addiction and temptation, nothing prevents you from viewing your family and loved ones as food, don\'t you agree?\'
That simple question was enough for her to strengthen her will and fight harder against the corruption.
"Thank you, Tu," she said as she took a deep breath, "I owe you... big time." She finished with a smile.
\'Think nothing of it,\' he smiled in response even though Raven could feel that he had sacrificed a lot of his own energy for her sake.
*Sigh*
\'I should keep it together, I can\'t risk losing control like this in front of Kayla when she comes back. Heck, I can\'t even release my aura in front of Maria, Maya, and the rest, as it will most likely hurt them. This has to stop!\' she scolded herself.
\'Do you feel that?\' Tu interrupted her thoughts.
Enhancing her senses, she was able to feel a few strong mana signatures coming her way.
"Uhm," she nodded, "we have company…"