The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System

His pale face had regained some color, and he looked much better than the night before. On the contrary, Shen Qingqiu, who was still spirited before he slept, had woken up in a state of grogginess still hugging Luo Binghe; he looked exhausted.

Shen Qingqiu had been imparting spiritual energy to Luo Binghe the whole night, never stopping until he eventually fell asleep in a daze.

Luo Binghe’s eyelashes slowly fluttered open. He gazed at Shen Qingqiu with a complicated expression for a moment before he extended his hand to move Shen Qingqiu’s arm away.

His action startled Shen Qingqiu awake, and Luo Binghe took the chance to get out of bed.

Shen Qingqiu was puzzled. Luo Binghe would not budge no matter how he tried to kick him off previously, but today, he actually took the initiative to get up?

He pinched the bridge of his nose and frowned. “Why are you up so early in the morning? Making breakfast? Don’t do it today.”

He noticed that Luo Binghe was only wearing a thin, inner shirt with his collars opened. The crisscrossed wounds had started to mend, leaving behind only faint traces. Shen Qingqiu reckoned that he would be completely healed by the end of the day. However, a small patch of his chest was still exposed to the elements. The robe he wore last night was no longer wearable, so Shen Qingqiu prompted him, “Your old clothes are still in the side room. Yingying and the rest left them the way they were.”

Luo Binghe sidestepped the screen1 and made his way to the side room.

His own little world came into view, completed with desks, chairs, beds, and cabinets made of bamboo. Everything was spotless. There was even a small desk at the head of his bed. The scrolls were arranged in perfect order, and brushes of various colors were organized by color and length. He opened the cupboard door and saw a neat stack of white clothes inside. There was also a variety of fine-grade jade pendants hanging at the top.

During the time Luo Binghe was in the side room, Shen Qingqiu slowly sat up from the bed. He rubbed his temples as he swept his gaze around to search for his boots.

He had slept so badly last night he was really annoyed now!

He was always in a dream! Dreaming and dreaming and dreaming and dreaming!

Even the humiliating black history of going to Shuanghu City to eliminate the Skinner had appeared in his dreams! And oh, he even dreamed of dreaming in his dreams!

Everything from the Immortal Alliance Conference to Jinlan City to Hua Yue City to the Holy Mausoleum all flashed by in his dreams like a revolving lantern2. There were even dreams of the moments where he was bashed up, where he vomited blood, where grasses grew over his body...

His brain was going to explode after having so many dreams in a night!

It had to be because he was imparting spiritual energy to Luo Binghe while sleeping. If his mind was unstable, the person sleeping near him would also suffer.

By this time, Luo Binghe was done dressing and walked out of the side room. Shen Qingqiu still had not found his boots, so he simply gave up. He beckoned Luo Binghe over, and when the latter walked over to the side of the bed, Shen Qingqiu moved to pull him down.

Luo Binghe did not move, but asked with a frown, “What are you doing?”

Shen Qingqiu took out a hair ribbon and a wooden comb from under the pillow and replied, “What do you think I’m doing?”

Only then did Luo Binghe obediently seated himself down in front of Shen Qingqiu, looking around and sizing up the bamboo dwelling. Shen Qingqiu leisurely asked as he combed Luo Binghe’s hair. “What are you looking at?”

Luo Binghe’s eyes were still sharp and cool, but his tone softened as he said, “I was always in a hurry every time I return to Qing Jing Peak these past few years, so I never had the chance to take a good look.”

Shen Qingqiu held the ribbon in his mouth for a brief moment as he stealthily and mischievously tied a little braid for him. He said, “Then look all you want these days. I’ll make a trip to Bai Zhan Peak later and get Liu Qingge to keep a tighter rein on his disciples. There is absolutely no reason for Qing Jing Peak’s disciples to be chased around, getting clobbered by Bai Zhan Peak.”

After a momentary pause, Luo Binghe slowly turned his head back. He smiled at Shen Qingqiu, and sweetly called out to him, “Shizun?”

“Hmm?”

“Shizun.”

“Hmm.”

It was as if he had never tried calling Shen Qingqiu in such a way. He called out several times in a row and got a response every time. The more he called, the more addicted he became. Until Shen Qingqiu eventually could not endure it and grabbed his folding fan to smack the back of Luo Binghe’s head. “What are you calling me for? Just call once. Talk properly.”

Having received a blow on the back of his head, Luo Binghe’s face darkened, but he quickly composed himself. He smiled vaguely and shifted his gaze aside, asking, “Did Shizun sleep badly last night?”

How can I sleep well when I’m holding you in an embrace?

Shen Qingqiu replied in a light tone. “Just some dreams of the past.”

Luo Binghe said, “Then, how about I hug you to sleep the next time?”

Such words came so easily to him. Shen Qingqiu completed his task and patted Luo Binghe’s head before he pushed him out of bed. “Go. Go.”

Shen Qingqiu went to Bai Zhan Peak as promised.

He was a familiar face there and knew his way around, so he did not even need a visitation card3 to send notice of his visit. He tidied his appearance and left after taking a couple of mouthfuls of the congee that Ming Fan had served up. Luo Binghe was made to remain in the bamboo house with the instruction to “obediently wait for this master’s return.” But how would he be really willing to comply and wait?

The moment he opened the door, he saw a petite figure in orange skipping towards him. Luo Binghe took a closer look, then beamed and called out, “Yingying.”

Who would have expected Ning Yingying to shiver and turn pale with fright? “Ah Luo! What’s wrong with you? Did you hurt your head?! Why did you call me that?! What in the world is Yingying, that’s so scary!”

Luo Binghe, “......”

Ning Yingying’s face was still full of horror. “Why aren’t you calling me Ning-shijie?!”

Luo Binghe, “......Ning-shijie.”

This “shijie” was said through clenched teeth, yet Ning Yingying heaved a sigh of relief. Patting her bosom, she lectured him. “This is how it should be. It’s so unlike you to suddenly change the way you address me. Shizun may dote on you, but you must always be careful to show and pay respect to your seniors. Only then will we retain the dignity of our Qing Jing Peak’s disciples, and the teachings of Shizun will not be in vain.”

The veins stood out of Luo Binghe’s head as he listened. Losing his patience, he cut her off. “I have something to ask you.”

A look of understanding came over Ning Yingying’s face.

With a wave of her hand, she solemnly handed the duster and broom over into Luo Binghe’s hands.

She said, “Shijie knows. Here.”

Luo Binghe, “......”

Ning Yingying said with sincerity, “Ah Luo, please don’t mind me. I’m aware that you have always wanted to tidy up Shizun’s abode on your own. However, you and Shizun have been gone for so many days so Dashixiong4 and I could only stand in for you first. But since you are back, I’ll leave the tasks to you. Shijie will not fight with you for the duties. Shijie knows this much.”

......

The hell you know!

Luo Binghe turned around and made his way to Xian Shu Peak.

The disciples of Xian Shu Peak had always welcomed him—regardless of where they were.

In the past, Shen Qingqiu had often ordered Luo Binghe about and sent him on numerous errands. He was thus a regular face at Xian Shu Peak. From time to time, he would go over to deliver a message, request someone’s presence, or borrow something.

The male disciples from the other peaks would more or less sneak around whenever they came to Xian Shu Peak; they would peer here and there until they peeked into the beautiful fairies’ chambers and even the bathhouse. But of course, they did not even make it to the bathhouse before they were 【beep——】 to death by the beautiful fairies’ flustered array of swords. Only Luo Binghe would treat them with due respect and maintain his distance from them whenever he came to their Peak, so he came to be quite highly regarded among those in Xian Shu Peak. As such, he was given access and allowed to wait in the inner hall at Xian Shu Peak.

A veiled Mingyan bowed in courtesy to him, greeting, “Luo-shixiong.”

Before Luo Binghe could speak, Liu Mingyan nodded to him and said, “Is Luo-shixiong here under the orders of Shen-shibo to invite Shizun over? Please wait here for a moment. I will come back after I have finished making arrangements for these comrades from Tian Yi Monastery.”

The three comrades she was talking about were exactly those three pretty Taoist nuns.

They were circling around Liu Mingyan, with their delicate, hourglass bodies wrapped in aquamarine robes. Three pairs of bright eyes stared at Luo Binghe. One moment, they would whisper among themselves, and the next moment, they would stamp their feet coquettishly with flushed cheeks. They were like three brilliant blue flowers revolving around a pure, upright lotus, fluttering in the wind, giggling and horsing around as they left while huddled together.

Luo Binghe waited patiently for Liu Mingyan to return.

After standing for a while, he suddenly noticed a corner of a book peeking out from beneath a messy pile on scrolls on the desk. It was obviously shoved underneath in haste.

Even Liu Mingyan had something to hide.

He casually pulled out the hidden booklet and swept a quick glance at it. He found the cover gaudy, and the three characters of the title were even more contorted than the character before it. He frowned, but when he saw the author signing off as “Liu Su Mian Hua”5, he smiled and flipped open the booklet.

......

......

......

When Shen Qingqiu returned after he was done having a heart-to-heart talk over a cup of tea at Bai Zhan Peak, Luo Binghe was already waiting for him in the bamboo dwelling. As soon as he stepped through the door, he felt two burning and scalding lines of sight directed at him.

Shen Qingqiu, “......”

=口= Why was he suddenly afraid to close the door?!

Luo Binghe was reclining against the bed and said with a smile, “What’s wrong? Why isn’t Shizun coming over?”

His tone was still soft with an undertone of grievance, but his gaze told a different story.

He was sizing Shen Qingqiu up as if he had never seen the latter before. It was as if he was going to skin him alive with his gaze.

Shen Qingqiu had a beautiful complexion, his shoulders were neither wide nor thick, and he had a slender waist and long legs. Under the layers upon layers of green clothes that were the attire of Qing Jing Peak, he cut a graceful figure, poised and charming.

That’s right. He had charm.

Shen Qingqiu backhandedly closed the door of the bamboo house. He had yet to reach within five steps of Luo Binghe when he felt himself being pulled right into Luo Binghe’s arms. The grip around his waist tightened.

Luo Binghe’s hands slipped to the sides of his waist, stroking and kneading intermittently.

Hand. Hand. Thank you! Hand! Your hand!

Shen Qingqiu backhandedly grasped Luo Binghe’s paws. Taking advantage of the momentum, Luo Binghe twisted him around, and Shen Qingqiu somehow ended up sitting on Luo Binghe’s thighs with his legs spread wide open. He was stuck. The next moment, Luo Binghe felt down his neck and pushed down on it, locking Shen Qingqiu’s lips again with his.

He did not dare to move. Wtf, he really did not dare to move in this position!

Actually, both of them had already done more explicit actions than this, but the last time was a special case as a catastrophe was imminent, so Shen Qingqiu had cast aside his bashfulness and reservation. Luo Binghe had been rather close to him the past half month they had spent in the demon realm, but whether it was because of shyness or some other reason, he had done nothing out of line.

This timing, this location, this entire situation was a totally different matter.

The sun had yet to set. Was it really good to engage in such lascivious activities during the day?!

Could it be that this child could no longer hold back his desire?

Shen Qingqiu was not accustomed to cling this close to people when they were still wide awake. But Luo Binghe was like a fragile porcelain doll that would shatter at a touch; he definitely could not take any more blows. Thus, Shen Qingqiu responded to him and parted his lips slowly.

Oddly enough, his body had always felt the same during the long period of time Shen Qingqiu had been using it. It was frigid and rigid all over from head to toe, top to bottom. There was no spot that could not be touched. It would not itch no matter where it was tickled, and there also did not seem to be any sensitive spot. But now that Luo Binghe was lightly and slowly touching him all over, Shen Qingqiu actually ached with desire so much that it was hard to bear.

Why was he so experienced? Why?!

He was obviously a virgin? Why?!

Just one time and he self-taught himself? Why?!

Is this fair? I want to complain. I want to scream. Why?!

At times, Luo Binghe nibbled lightly on his lips; at other times, he gnawed heavily on it. The tip of Luo Binghe’s tongue danced in his mouth, arousing him. Shen Qingqiu could not keep up with his rhythm and started to gasp for breath, but the moment he shifted his head, he would be steered back, and Luo Binghe would deepen the kiss. Unable to catch his breath, Shen Qingqiu frowned and closed his eyes. Thus, he could not see the malice flashing through Luo Binghe’s eyes.

Shen Qingqiu could hardly maintain his balance on Luo Binghe’s thighs, and so he subconsciously reached out to grab hold of Luo Binghe’s collar. He missed. Instead, he touched the bare skin of Luo Binghe’s chest.

His smooth, unblemished skin.

In that very instant, Shen Qingqiu’s mind cleared.

With a sudden burst of force in his palm, he aimed a critical hit at Luo Binghe’s heart.

Luo Binghe took the blow face-on but remained unmoved. He gave a cold laugh and grabbed Shen Qingqiu’s right wrist with one hand while his other hand continued to press down on his neck. Holding Shen Qingqiu, he deftly turned over and rolled onto the bed with himself on top. With a smile on his face, he looked down at Shen Qingqiu and asked, “What’s the matter, Shizun? Don’t you love me very much? Why don’t you give yourself to me?”

Screw the man himself! Shen Qingqiu swore at him, “Scram!”

Luo Binghe progressed from kissing him to tearing at his lips. The metallic taste of blood instantly saturated Shen Qingqiu’s mouth. He formed a spell with his left hand and summoned Xiu Ya which was on the desk. Luo Binghe’s movements were slightly sluggish, and Shen Qingqiu took the chance to raise his leg and gave him a kick on the chest. Before he could rise, he felt a grip on his ankle and looked back. Luo Binghe’s hand was grasping his ankle. In one bold move, he hauled Shen Qingqiu backward beneath his body again. Immediately right after, he righted Shen Qingqiu’s body, grasping his calf and bending it up to his chest, pinning him down.

The whole range of actions was completed in one go!

Shen Qingqiu snapped, “Where is he?!”

“Luo Binghe” crooked his head and said, “Who are you asking about? If you mean me, then am I not here?”

Shen Qingqiu suddenly relaxed his tone and asked, “How did you get here?”

Luo Binghe played with his hair and said, “Compared to this, what I want to know is how did ‘Shizun’ find out?”

WTF please, those scars on Luo Binghe’s palm and chest; he was the one who created them back then!

Shen Qingqiu replied, “You really want to know?”

Luo Binghe lowered and pressed his body down on Shen Qingqiu and said in a frosty yet provocative tone, “Never mind if you don’t want to tell me. We have plenty of time to ‘figure it out’ slowly.”

Shen Qingqiu said, “Then how about you turn around and see for yourself?”

The arch on Luo Binghe’s lips suddenly froze. Alarmed, he warily turned back.

In the semi-darkness, a face that mirrored him closed in.

A face that was so frosty like ice that it was bone-chilling. Yet, those pair of eyes were like soul fire, raging and burning crimson red.

屏风, a single or folding screen that serves as a partition in a room, usually in front of the bed, etc.

走马灯 lantern with a carousel of rotating paper horses, like a lantern version of a merry-go-round.

拜帖, a visitation card used by officials, nobles or distinguished people to notify the other party of their visit. It would usually indicate his name, position, and so on.

The eldest or most senior disciple under the same master

柳宿眠花 literally means Sleeping Flower Among Willow (as in Willow Constellation (柳宿)). The ‘Liu’ is the same ‘Liu’ as Liu Mingyan. The entire name 柳宿眠花 (Liu Su Mian Hua) is an anagram of 眠花宿柳 (Mian Hua Su Liu), which means “to go whoring.” LOL smh @ Liu Mingyan.