I am Really a Superstar

At the Xuanwumen branch of Lotte Mart.

Zhang Ye was seen making an appearance there.

Several minutes later, all sorts of noise and screams rang out as chaos broke out inside the supermarket!

…

At a fire station.

The team of firefighters had just returned from responding to an emergency call.

“Captain Wang, you’re back?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you manage to rescue him?”

“We successfully rescued him. Hai, what a tiring day this has been.”

“Yeah, we were activated for all the big assignments today.”

“We’ve encountered at least seven waves of reporters.”

“Fortunately, nothing has happened to Zhang Ye in our jurisdiction.”

Everyone got out of their firefighting uniforms and sat down together while conversing when the phone suddenly rang.

It was a call from the command center.

Captain Wang hurriedly went to answer it. “Hello, Command Center, please go ahead.”

On the other end of the line, the operator said: “We’ve just received a call for assistance. Teacher Zhang Ye has been trapped again. This time, he is trapped in the revolving door of Lotte Mart. There was a fault in the electrical system of the supermarket, and all of the power has been cut. Can you hurry over to provide assistance?”

Captain Wang was stunned. “What? It’s Zhang Ye again?”

The operator said: “Yes.”

“But Lotte Mart has already suspended their business operations for the day? He’s already left the supermarket, hasn’t he?”

The operator said: “It’s not the Ximachang branch. He’s at the Lotte Mart in Xuanwumen.”

“Eh? But isn’t that location not under our jurisdiction?”

The operator said: “Zhang Ye specifically asked for your team to go. He said that you have the necessary experience in rescuing him.”

Captain Wang was floored!

The other firefighters saw red!

We have the necessary experience?

Oh yeah! How can we not fucking have the necessary experience?

We’ve already rescued him on three occasions today!

What the heck is going on here! Why does this fellow keep getting into accidents! Besides, why did it happen at Lotte Mart again? Does he have some sort of feud with this hypermarket chain? Why does he have to keep appearing at that place?

…

30 minutes later.

Zhang Ye was successfully rescued.

Another 20 minutes later.

Zhang Ye, who had just been rescued, appeared at the doorstep of Changchun Street’s Lotte Mart.

“Ah!”

“Hurry up, let’s get out of here!”

“The water pipe has burst!”

“The supermarket is flooding!”

“Aiyo!”

“It’s flooding! It’s flooding!”

…

2:30 PM.

At the Fuxingmen branch of Lotte Mart.

“There’s a fire!”

“A fire has broken out in the men’s room!”

“Holy shit! Put it out!”

“Is there anyone inside?”

“I think Zhang Ye is in there!”

“Damn, why is it him again? There was just some news about him appearing the Changchun Street Lotte Mart, which got flooded!”

“Hurry up and call 119!”

…

3 PM.

At the Xizhimen branch of Lotte Mart.

“Look at that person!”

“Isn’t that Zhang Ye?”

“Fuck! Why did he come to Xizhimen?”

“Did you see the news?”

“I saw it. This guy is such a jinx!”

“We better steer clear of him. Four or five Lotte Marts have suffered disaster by his hands!”

“Let’s get out of here quickly. He’s so unlucky right now. Anyone who stands near him will be affected as well!”

“Ah! The freezer exploded!”

“I knew it! I knew something would happen!”

…

The people at the Beijing Fire Department were going crazy!

They answered call after call!

“What? Him again?”

“Where is it this time?”

“He went to Dongzhimen?”

“It’s another Lotte Mart?”

“Damn, did he step in dog shit!”

“That plague!”

“He’s appeared at Xuanwumen, Changchun Street, Xizhimen, and Dongzhimen. Fuck his sister! Is he dropping by at the supermarkets based on the stations on Line 2 of the subway?!”

“Quickly send the fire truck there! That guy’s been trapped in an elevator this time!”

…

Meanwhile.

At the China regional office of Lotte Corporation.

Several of the managers nearly broke down!

“We’re finished! Something has happened at the Dongzhimen branch as well!”

“What’s this Zhang fella trying to achieve!”

“Goddammit! Is he doing this on purpose!”

“Those were not man-made incidents. The police have investigated and found that they were all accidents. It’s because there were issues with our facility management, and a lot of our equipment did not pass regulation, which led to the accidents happening. The relevant authorities have already begun their investigations into us!”

“This is bad, really bad!”

“Why can’t this jinx go elsewhere?”

“I don’t know. He’s visiting basically every Lotte Mart along the subway line!”

“Holy fuck!”

“He should just die!”

The people of Korea’s Lotte Corporation were furiously cursing at Zhang Ye!

…

In the span of a day.

From afternoon until night.

All of the Lotte Marts in Beijing received devastating blows. The 13 Lotte Marts in the main city of Beijing descended into chaos on this day!

Suspending business operations!

Suspending business operations!

Suspending business operations!

Not a single branch was spared!

All 13 branches of Lotte Mart were forced to suspend their business!

Due to too many major incidents involving the facilities at the supermarkets, the relevant authorities quickly got involved and opened investigations into the accidents. They found a lot of problems within the branches, and some of the authorities even issued a safety warning to the public, leading to many of the other Lotte Marts in China to be implicated as well. Right now, the entire country’s citizens would “clench their buttholes” in nervousness at any mention of Lotte Mart!

It was too dangerous!

How could so many accidents happen in one day?

How was this even a supermarket!

It’s more like a fucking war zone!

On Weibo.

“I’m never going into another Lotte Mart again!”

“Yeah, who still fucking dares to go shopping there!”

“Is Teacher Zhang alright?”

“He’s fine. He’s still alive and well.”

“This fellow has made a round trip on Line 2!”

“I really have to give it to him. How unlucky can Zhang Ye get? How did he end up getting involved in every accident that happened?”

“How is this a matter of being unlucky? There’s something sinister going on!”

“This fellow is such a legend. The things that happen to him always leave people speechless. I don’t even find it strange anymore!”

“I’ve never met anyone unluckier than him!”

“Has anyone compiled stats yet? How many misfortunes did he run into today?”

“The media’s already made a compilation.”

Fell into a well twice.

Got hit by a car thrice.

Attacked by a tube cover once.

Caught in flooding twice.

Got trapped five times.

Rolled down an escalator once.

Slipped seven times.

Was he even a celebrity?

He felt more like the fucking God of Death ¹ !

On this day, Zhang Ye was all over the news. On this day, there was no other news in the entertainment circle. Reports of something happening to Zhang Ye kept popping up every now and then throughout the entire day!

The Japanese people were stunned!

The Korean people were also dumbfounded!

“Is this the Heavens trying to punish him?”

“Even God can’t stand his ways anymore?”

“I’ve come across unlucky people, but I’ve never met anyone as unlucky as this!”

“Why did every incident take place at our Lotte Corporations hypermarkets?”

“If you’re unlucky, keep the bad luck to yourself. Don’t drag our country’s enterprise down with you!”

“He got into so many accidents, but he wasn’t hurt at all?”

“Damn, does this fellow have nine lives!”

“Quickly take him away! Don’t let him bring harm upon anyone else!”

“Jesus! If you’re so unlucky, why don’t you stay at home? Why do you have to go out? You’re even purposely going to our Lotte Marts? Fuck off! Hurry up and get lost!”

“I wonder how many wicked deeds he committed to deserve this.”

“He must’ve destroyed the planet in his last life!”

All of a sudden, the Asian people were discussing this fervently!

Lotte Corporation.

Zhang Ye.

The God of Death

And so on. All these keywords were ranked at the forefront of Asia’s trending search terms.

And then, the most comedic scene played out. After midnight, the Asian Celebrity Rankings Index was updated, and Zhang Ye’s popularity rose sharply again!

He was still in third place on the Asian A-list!

But his popularity score had gone up by a vast amount!

When a lot of people saw this, they no longer knew what to say!