I'm a Walking Disaster With My Unwanted Virginity

Trip back, and a pole?

Life was hard but maintaining looks were harder. 

Maybe walking through a land of bugs would have been a much better choice. 

And why the hell did those morons have to declare war on us? It wasn\'t like I killed that trash anyway. \'Wait, did that guy, kill him?\' It wasn\'t implausible. That guy who I tackled with at the gym was definitely strong. And he hinted at being employed, so I could assume as much. But I didn\'t have any proof. 

But even more than the fire of war, the matter of my sweater was getting more of my attention. 

I really was conflicted, if nothing else. 

And before I knew it, I had company. 

Company in the form of a lightning bolt that is. With a rumbling that nearly shattered all the glass white stream of thunder descended on us. 

Of course, I wasn\'t the least bit agitated by it. Cause, John just deflected the lightning, like it was no big deal. I was definitely more agitated by my sweater anyway.

\'So this is how they deal with criminals?\' 

I was actually curious as to what had happened the last time to that guy who tried to snatch the woman\'s baby.

And now I kind of had my answer.

"To think you\'d deflect it." A girl descended from the sky. There were no wings on her. She was floating and small sparks of electricity flew from her body around her, creating some sort of a corona discharge: her feet didn\'t touch the ground but the discharges did. 

John didn\'t say a word and just grinned. 

I sighed. "Can we get moving now? Oh and since you\'re here, drop us by the academy gates." Of course, I was talking to John. I turned to the girl: I carefully observed her. She had white bunny ears, and possibly the same girl I saw this afternoon, almost mistaking her for my crush. "I\'m sorry he destroyed the road and for causing the disturbance. We\'ll be leaving now, without creating a fuss, so don\'t worry." I had no intention of starting a fight here anyway. 

"What are you saying! Villains never run!" John looked at me, totally not getting any of my intentions or the situation for that matter.

\'Just what sort of movies have you been eating this time?\'

I sighed again and just grabbed John\'s cape, glaring a bit too seriously. "We\'re leaving unless you want me to burn this damn thing to ashes!"

"Ummm…. Okay, okay." His voice was low and he wasn\'t going to decline me. 

His cape was in a sense, something he cherished even above his villainous acts. Apparently, Gramps had given it to him on John\'s third birthday. It was supposedly something gramps wore. That\'s why John loved it so much: after all, gramps was his hero.

But the sad truth was, gramps never wore capes. I guess no one ever told this guy, that.

"Johnathan?"

"Yes!" The guy just stood up straight like he was in some sort of an army. I felt sorry for the guy. 

"Would you like to leave with us, or on your own?" I wanted to give him a choice. If he needed quick transport, we could do that. But if he was too afraid, then that was a no-go.

"I-I-I" I guess he was too afraid to even answer.

I sighed again. "Alright, sorry about leaving you here."  I turned to the girl again. So far, she hadn\'t said anything, and just carefully observed us. "Again, really sorry about this. Oh and-" I gave it a long thought and after a lot of debate I went for it. "Do you know a girl named Sicilia?" 

The girl just stared at me with a bit of confusion. "How\'d you know my name?" She said. 

I stared at her, a bit more intently. She did have the same golden hair and kind of the same face. But I still couldn\'t really picture her to be the girl I was talking about. And that was because there was a fundamental difference.  "Wait, you\'re Sicilia? I thought you\'d have a flatter chest!" The Sicilia I remember had a chest as flat as a board, but this girl was pretty endowed. This had to be an imposter.  The girl glared. I might have said some pretty offensive stuff without realizing it. "So-sorry about that. Kind of got emotional. We went to the same middle school." And if my memory served me correctly she was at least three years older than me.

"I was going to let you go because clearly you two are stronger, but now you\'ve just struck the last straw!" Her voice raised significantly as electricity, literally streamed out of her body and she dashed towards us, clearly intent on beating the hell out of us. 

\'Looks like I\'ve dug my own grave.\'

"Ooops!" John grabbed my arm and jumped up. The girl followed, but John was faster and before I knew, we were pretty high. "You knew the girl?"

"Yeah, back when I was still in Canada, she was-" I stopped. John didn\'t need to know this stuff. 

He still giggled though. I shouldn\'t have underestimated this guy. 

***

We flew through the frozen lands. Even with this sweater, it was still kind of cold. 

The girl didn\'t follow us. 

I was on top of John, and it was almost like he was giving me a piggyback ride. 

Last time I got this treatment was when gramps was still alive. 

I felt a lot of emotions, but I kind of just bottled them up. 

"What are the uncles thinking? Do they want to hand me over to negotiate or something?" I knew my family wasn\'t like that, but it was always an option. 

John snorted. "NO." He acted a lot more dramatic than necessary. "Everyone\'s just proud of you. Why would they even think of handing you over to those vermin?"

\'To make a Trojan horse, why else? Are all you morons dumb?\' I could have singlehandedly scorched the place anyway if I was alone. Oh, wait, I already started to think like these morons. 

I almost wanted to slap my face, for falling down that rabbit hole.

It was official, everyone in my family was a muscle brain, no doubt about that: and I was speed running to that state sooner than later. 

***

It took us roughly three minutes to reach the academy. 

From up here, the academy looked pretty bright. It was definitely a lot prettier than I thought it\'d be. The academy boundary was round in nature, so the whole place looked like a glowing sphere. But I guess that was just an understatement. 

"What\'s that?" While I was busy staring below, John was looking dead ahead.

"A pole?" 

We were pretty high and from the looks of it, it was a long ass pole, touching the clouds. 

And then I remembered, Seline said something about climbing a pole. 

"I think one of my friends is climbing this. Let\'s go down a bit."

"You have weird friends mate."

"Yeah, I don\'t need to be told that by you of all people."

John laughed hard and slowly descended, halfway through I spotted Seline, climbing this thin pole like it was no big deal. It probably wasn\'t, for her.

"Huh? Helio? And who\'s that?"

"Oh hey. This is my cousin. Don\'t worry about it. Looks like you\'re almost there."

"I\'ve still got halfway, but yeah."

I could hear faint cheers from the crowd below. Of course, there had to be a crowd no matter what. But I guess this wasn\'t as bad as it looked. We were still pretty high but if Seline wanted to do this, I had no reason to get in her way. 

"But what are you wearing and why are you sitting on him like he\'s a chair?"

"Too many questions. You should focus more on this." And I certainly didn\'t want to answer anything anyway. 

Seline giggled. "Right!" She kept on climbing. "And thanks for coming." She flashed a radiant smile. 

I gave John a tap. "Let\'s go back to the dorms. Mom might be here."

"What!?" John shook a little. "Aunt\'s here? Yeah, no thanks, man. I\'ll just go home."

A grin surfaced on my face. The reason I hid this information was simple, John feared mom more than me. And I needed free transport. 

And now that his job was done, I didn\'t need him anymore. 

But I might not have seen one thing coming.

"Well, it was fun seeing ya, but later. And don\'t worry about the war, we\'ll handle it. You just focus on being evil!" And with that said, John dropped me midair, flying away. "If things get rough, I\'ll call you."

And I started to fall to my death. 

\'Huh!?\'

HUHHH!

I was at least three hundred meters up. And I most certainly didn\'t want to fall to my death. 

"Calm the hell down." I let out a small scream and controlled my urges. The ground was coming up pretty fast but if I screwed up now, I was about to die. 

I didn\'t care how, but I needed to do at least something so I didn\'t fall down to my death. 

I took my saber out, and surely it made a scythe. I tried to make it larger and before I knew it, it touched the pole. "Sorry, Selene." I tried my best not to cut the pole, as I tried to angle my fall to the pole. 

And I succeeded, kind of. There were a lot of scratches on the pole and it looked more than unsteady but I reached the pole and it was still here. I wasn\'t falling down anymore. Instead, I was slipping down to my death. 

Perfect!

My hands were on fire. I couldn\'t create enough friction to save my bottom. 

The ground was so close. 

\'Can I fire off radiation and-"

No, that would have just fried the people around. If I fell from this height while slipping, I\'d be well off with just a few broken bones, but the people would have just been fried if I used enough power to propel me. 

But man was I tempted to fry everyone. 

And before I fell straight to the ground, I strengthened my body to the best of my abilities. At least this way I could have saved some of my bones.

I let out a large scream so the people around would scram and I wouldn\'t end up murdering bystanders. I also closed my eyes.

But I kind of never fell on the ground: I was still screaming but I gradually stopped. I could hear faint murmurs.

I slowly, yet cautiously opened my eyes. I was caught midair, at least a feet above the ground. 

"Black hands?"

They were shadows. 

I looked in front of me and a redhead was there, smiling faintly. The well-endowed redhead was Leilis, the last person I wanted to meet.

I actually didn\'t expect to be saved. I was definitely expecting to get bedridden for a while though. 

The shadow hands helped me stand up and disappeared. I was still confused as to what just happened. 

I got all sorts of stares. But these stares were different. They were aimed at my dress.

\'Oh shit, I forgot.\'

"Thanks!"

And so, I ran for my life. Meanwhile, I took off the sweater, without a doubt. 

Why the hell was I still wearing it? Probably cause it was more comfortable than I thought?